FRUSTRATIONS

I have been thinking about my health a lot tonight.  I am so over this trying to lose weight thing right now... I am telling you I am on this HUMP that I cannot get over.  I will lose a lb then gain 2 then lose 3 then gain 4 then lose 3 then gain 2 and on and on... I just don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am really over it all.
I have been looking up PCOS art on deviantart.com.  And it makes me feel a little better because I know I am not alone.  There are others out there hurting.   People don't take it seriously.  They just want to think I am fine.  And it isn't killing me so I can put a smile on my face and pretend it isn't there for awhile then it hits me again.  I haven't had a period in like 8 months.  I can't lose weight no matter how many calories I cut, how many meals are replaced with slim fast, or how many diet pills I take.
I can't take the meds they wanted me to because they kept me sick.  I don;t know what to do!!  and Drs. do NOT listen.  NONE of them.  The last time I was at the dr. i threw in the fact that it had (at that time) been six months since I had a period... his reaction "Hmm."  then moved on.
I am stressed out and frustrated.  and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE>
I just want to scream and cry and curl in a ball.  I just needed to vent.  No one has to read this... I am not posting this one on FB for the world to see.   I just needed to get it out...