Signed up for GYM

Signed up for the gym today.  It was about 50 bucks to sign but it will only be 25 a month, month to month and I can always bring a guest... which means we save money!  I don't have to pay monthly for Johnny and we only had to pay one sign up fee.  It comes with tanning (yeah not for me... i am pale and I burn... and SKIN CANCER) and hydro-massage.  I might try that massage thingy.  Anyway.  I did a short work out about 20 minutes total and it made me see just how out of SHAPE I am.  It was ridiculous... AND of course my leg started acting up.  But I will work through this pain!  My foot swelled (is that the right way of saying that?) and my toe hurts.  I think I might go to the Dr. in the morning because I have money right now and it seems to be the best idea in the world to me.


Promise I am going to start going back to my dance classes.  I am in desperate NEED of a FUN time and STRESS reliever.  I am going to be up to my eyeballs in homework tomorrow for school.  I bet by the time class rolls around I will be ready to dance "swoll" foot or not I will be in there.  


I cannot thank everyone enough for the support.  I need it.  But I think what I might need is someone telling me I can't do it... and I want them to mean it.  I have kind of figured out I don't work "normally".  As I went off to College Mom kept saying most kids change their majors AT LEAST once.... so what did I do.... I made sure I didn't.  I like to do things that are a challenge.  Someone who REALLY doesn't believe in me, make yourself KNOWN!  Be my "heckler" if you will.  


I have made my goals thus far, which was to sign up and work out.  Well, then I am also telling myself to get back into my groove and DANCE again, because I LOVE DANCING.  And when I was some number of sizes smaller I WAS BETTER AT IT.


Well guess what My goal in all of this is not be "skinny"  My goal is to be HAPPY again.  I was Happy at size 16.  It was good times.  I was healthier, I was happier.... I got married at a size 16... I feel in love in a size 16 ERA.  You know what... that is not skinny by any means but it is A LOT better than where I am now.  (I have not made the courage to say my size, it frightens me of what people will think but never say to my face.) ((I know I am an adult and I shouldn't care but  you all are my friends... because honestly only my friends would care enough to read my craziness blog :)  It is part of me and you all CARE))   


Any Takers on the Heckler yet.... if so COMMENT!
Skinnier Me.......

Random Side note.... thinking about going back to this hair (see pic below....)