Real women...

Real women have curves....
Real women are straight as a board...
Real women are fit...
Real women are fat...
Real women are fluffy...
Real women are short...
Real women are tall...
Real women are big....
Real women are small....
Real women have big boobs....
Real women have A cups.....
Real women are tan...
Real women are pale....
Real women are blond...
Real women are brunette...
Real women are red headed....
Real women are young....
Real women are old...
Real women are insecure....
Real women are confident...
Real women are sexual....
Real women are prudes....
Real women wear dresses...
Real women wear jeans....
Real women wear sweats....
Real women are mothers....
Real women are childless.....
Real women are wives....
Real women are single....
Real women are perfect....
Real women are imperfect....
Real women are gorgeous....
Real women are pretty....
Real women are everywhere....

All women are REAL.  No one should be shamed about their bodies.... fat or thin, tall or short.  It is so tiresome living in a world that only sees one kind of woman as beautiful.  They are in their rights beautiful.... BUT SO IS EVERY WOMAN.
I am trying hard in my life to HEALTHY.  I don't want to lose weight to be skinny... because this body isn't made for skinny.  But it is my body.  And i will not let someone make me thing I am WRONG.  God made me the way I am.  As long as I am happy and healthy that is all that should matter... and that goes FOR EVERYONE.

Getting back on the horse.... so to speak

I did a short work out yesterday after work.  Wish I could have done longer but the day had been so hectic at work that I was already exhausted before I got on the treadmill.  But I did a fast pace walk/jog warm up and cool down type of thing for 20 minutes.  I just keep telling myself it is better than nothing.  I have got to get back in the swing of things and lose this weight, yall.

Sometimes...

Sometimes it hits me out of no where...
this empty feeling in my gut.
today has been one of those days.
and I feel like a nut.

A simple question from a stranger
it put me on the edge.
Can't blame her well meaning banter
but the feelings it did dredge.

A picture of a happy mom
or a new born baby
has me soul aching, screaming
was it something I did, maybe?

I know sometimes its not meant to be.
And someone has to have this pain.
And I'd like to say I can be the person
that's strong enough to handle this bane.

But I don't feel strong.
I feel very weak.
I don't even know if I want to try anymore.
For comfort, I should not seek.

There is nothing in this world
that I would hold more dear.
But now I hold nothing more
than sadness... and fear.

not moving.....

I am so lethargic lately.
I need to move again.
It has been months since I have been dancing.  I just haven't had the Money to start back up.  And it sucks.
This week I am planning on working out at the gym at work and starting to get back in the game that way for awhile.  I am stagnant.  Not gaining... but certainly not losing any weight and that is no good.
I am going to try and go on birth control again.  My health is important to me and I am just not feeling healthy off of them.  I used to feel better when I was on them because my hormones are crazy imbalanced and I think they helped. So that is it for my quick update... follow my nerd blog http://mandaisgeekingout.blogspot.com/.

see ya.